cranberryzero: Archive

gvcatullus asked: My wife and I were driving through North Carolina and got a speeding ticket that was clocked at 85 (bullshit) but because of that we need to show up or get a lawyer. We live in Brooklyn so have no idea how to go about this, do you know any lawyers that we could use? Happened in Smithfield. Thanks

Mar 26th

1 note

Nov 21st

3,147 notes

21samuraimarketing asked: Where do I send my resume? Seriously, I need a job, I have lots of multi-media experience and I was just telling my wife that we need to move to Houston. my email, davidscottshetley at gmail com

Nov 11th

6 tags

Oct 17th

7 notes

Mar 24th

1 note

Oct 23rd

2 notes

Oct 23rd

1 note

2 tags

Oct 20th

8 notes

5 tags

Oct 18th

11 notes

3 tags

Oct 18th

1 note

1 tag

Aug 2nd

5 tags

Watch

If you watch one Duke Nukem review, it should probably be the Zero Punctuation review So you may have noticed that Duke Nukem Forever hasn’t gotten very favorable reviews other than “Well thank god that’s done with”, but if you’re going to watch one Duke Nukem Forever review, it should be this one.

Jun 23rd

6 notes

Oct 9th

5 notes

yousic asked: I like your pictures of crabs smoking - i also have one and was wondering whether you wanted it?

Aug 31st

dznutz4u-deactivated20110203 asked: Greetings Cranberryzero,

I haven't posted in a long time, but I thought I might contribute something to the site. I have 3 pics that I recently took and hope that the folks at IHC can come up with some funny stuff or photoshop something with them. Do you know what email addy I can send them? Thanks

Aug 31st

p-i-exp asked: then I was wondering if I ran an idea by you, and you had the time could you draw it up for me, I have no artistic ability so, I can't express what I have in my head on paper.

Aug 20th

alphaxray-deactivated20120424 asked: For the love of god, if you remember the girl that was in these pictures could you please upload them or send me a link.

http://ihc.urbanfort.com/content/russian-amateur-way-too-hot-crappy-cameras-nsfw-daily-hotness

That is the link that the pictures used to be on but they aren't visible anymore. Someone is trying to fuck with me and my friends on facebook...

Aug 20th

p-i-exp asked: I was wondering if you were the one who created that tattoo on the IHC website? I was the one who commented on your artistic views.

Aug 6th

Aug 5th

4 notes

sureshot1978 asked: Hey
did you find the Keys to the Helicopter?

i left them on the
Kitchen Counter
on the Left side of the
of the Machine GUNN...

Next to the Toaster.

also
dont forget the TWINKIES.

p.s.
ME LLAMO
SURE SHOT!!

Aug 1st

4 tags

Jul 31st

1,781 notes

2 tags

Jul 17th

toolesque asked: Do you... drive a Mazda?

Jul 16th

4 tags

Jul 8th

1 note

4 tags

Jul 8th

4 tags

Jul 8th

12 notes

Jul 8th

3 tags

Jul 7th

2 tags

Jul 7th

8 notes

3 tags

Jul 7th

4 tags

Netherlands vs. Uruguay... hoping to see orange...

Netherlands vs. Uruguay. Please Netherlands, beat the holy immortal hell out of Uruguay. You saw what they did to Ghana and that was some serious bullshit. 3-1 Holland! FUCKING EAT IT URUGUAY. Oh shit, Uruguay almost did the impossible and came back 2 goals down at the last minute. Final: 2-3 Holland. I’m still hoping for a Netherlands-Germany final so that I can use the...

Jul 6th

1 note

2 tags

Cranberryzero's Whirlwind NYC Adventure

So I just got back from NYC last night, and I had originally planned on updating with a journal entry for each of the two days I was there plus the drive up there and back, but it ended up being such an insane whirlwind trip that I never got a chance to or I was just dead tired. Right outside Penn Station, just off the train from NJ I was also hoping to meet up with IHCer Gvcatullus for drinks...

May 27th

Check out this awesome criminal tool I invented...

So the other day, I was walking the dog and I passed by this unoccupied house that I always pass by when I walk the dog and in one most of the windows there are old, abandoned knick-knacks and paintings and junk and I’ve always wondered what sort of cool stuff is in there that someone left. And it reminded me of this thing I invented on paper when I was a kid, probably around 8 years old,...

May 23rd

1 note

2 tags

Okay, I Admit It. The IPad Is A Hell Of A Lot Of...

So when the iPad came out, I like many other naysayers enjoyed talking shit about the device. No multitasking, no USB port, no camera, no Flash etc. But, a friend of mine recently got an iPad 3G and decided to sell his Wi-Fi iPad for cheaper than one could get it in a store with tax etc and so I bit and bought it from him. And… I honestly can’t put the fucking thing down. Yes...

May 17th

3 tags

May 16th

4 tags

Weekend Trip To The Asian Market: A 6 Beverage...

So me and Delsyd made a trip to the BIG Asian market in the Cary, NC area today. I told my wife I would try to not buy as much candy this time, which I did, sort of. I did get 2 boxes of Pocky (chocolate cheesecake and chocolate cookie crumb… holy shit good), but I mainly just got beverages. From L to R, we’ve got Sac Sac Orange, Tsueng Milk Flavored Tea, Calpico Mango, Apple Sidra,...

Apr 25th

1 note

4 tags

Wisdom Teeth And Vicodin

So today I had a wisdom tooth pulled, which is the first time I’ve had anything like that done. I guess it wasn’t too bad thanks to the wonders of Vicodin. This picture below was taken while I was waiting for the lidocaine to fully kick in. I honestly think I would have preferred to be gassed— just knock me the fuck out and wake me up when it’s done. Instead, even though...

Apr 21st

3 tags

For lunch today? A KFC Double Down. God damn that...

So for lunch today, I had a craving to go down to the local KFC and try the famous Double Down. I didn’t take any pictures of the thing as so many people seem to be doing, but it pretty much looked like the above photo. There were a surprising number of people at that KFC— more than usual— and everyone else there seemed to also be ordering the Double Down. From reports...

Apr 15th

3 tags

Super Mario 64: No Regrets

So a while back.. some 6 months ago or so, I made a list of 10 games that were my biggest disappointments, and one of the games on the list was Super Mario 64. I’ve never been so tarred and feathered by the internets in my entire life. The list was highly subjective and I was personally very disappointed with Super Mario 64. Anyway, I was at GameStop this weekend and picked up Super...

Apr 13th

1 tag

Holy Shit Fucking Pollen

I don’t know about where you live, but here in Cary, NC, this spring so far has been a god damn pollen apocalypse. I normally don’t have any pollen allergies, but the last few days, my eyes have been watering and going outside is like going into a pollen dust storm. I took a couple pictures just out in the parking lot of my apartment building, where you can see the thick layer of...

Apr 5th

6 tags

Apr 1st

1 tag

OMGZ LOOK ITS OWLS

Earlier today, me and Delsyd went to Southern Season in Chapel Hill, and outside there were a couple guys with owls, promoting some sort of owl rescue. If you’re in the Chapel Hill, NC area and you like food or cooking, you have to go to Southern Season. It’s about the size of a Super Wal-Mart, only filled with the absolute best food, cooking supplies, ingredients, candy, beer and...

Mar 27th

3 tags

Incorrect Apostrophe Use Spotted In The Wild At...

Delsyd and I went to IHOP for lunch today, because IHOP is good for breakfast, lunch, dinner or any time in between… and on the way out, I noticed that on the second half of their “Kids Eat Free” window stick-ons, they’ve got some incorrect apostrophe use. Why is this so fucking hard for some people? Apostrophe S is for possessive ONLY, not for plural. First fucking...

Mar 12th

4 tags

Car On Fire On Highway 147 In Durham, NC

Delsyd sent me these photos several days ago and I was waiting for him to do a journal post about it, but he never did so fuck it I’ll do it. He was on his lunch break and came across this car on fire on highway 147 in Durham, NC and took a couple pics with his phone. That looks nasty.

Mar 12th

2 tags

Orson Welles Appeared To Me In A Wet Spot Of...

I was outside, and in a wet spot of parking lot… BEHOLD… the pissed off face of Orson Welles. What does it mean? Don’t see it? Oh shit.

Mar 10th

1 tag

Cranberryzero And His Lovely Wife Get New Tattoos

Me and my wife just got back from getting brand new tattoos at Blue Flame Tattoo in Raleigh. This was my second and her first. My first tattoo I got when I was 18 with the idea that over the next several years I would fill up both arms, but I’m 31 now and that hasn’t happened, so I figured that I’d better start. This is the tattoo I got… it’s the black mage from the...

Feb 27th

Jul 16th

Jul 15th

1 note

Jul 15th

1 note